banana_of_manjayus

kenapa gw males jalan2 sendirian?

2008-06-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

gw paling seneng jalan-jalan. as in traveling, just going around town, or actually walking around the neighborhood. paling enak siyh, jalan2 tuh naik mobil, full ac, plus di supirin, heheheh..tapi, jalan-jalan naik angkutan umum juga seru kok, seru banget malah sebenernya, asal..gak sendirian.

gw punya beberapa trauma soal jalan2 sendirian, makanya kalau jalan2 yang naik angkot gw rada horor kalau g ada yang nemenin. traumanya sendiri siyh bukan karena di copet or jambret ye..(amit2, jangan sampe!)

Ada 2 trauma gw jaman gw abg berats, dan jaman gw kuliah.
jaman gw abg (abeeesssh, jaman smp aje gitu..) gw pernah (sering kale') jalan2 ke mall kelapa gading, yang emang udah kayak second home gw, secara gw juga tinggal di kelapa gading kan. waktu itu, gw ke mall karena kudu belanja perlengkapan mata pelajaran tata graha, alias design interior di sekolah gw.

kejadiannye pas gw mau pulang, tangan gw kanan-kiri penuh ma belanjaan. mulai dari kertas krep, gunting, lem aibon, bunga plastik, ember (buat ape??), pot plastik, wuih ruame deh pokoknya. waktu gw turun di eskalator depan diamond lantai 2, ada om-om (middle 30 gitu deh) yang nyamperin gw, dan nyapa gw ramaaaaahhh banget.

"wuah, belanja buat prakarya ya dek?" senyumnye darkie abies (pake cling-cling)
" iya om, buat pelajaran ekskul besok" senyum polos nan lugu gadis manis 13 tahun
" ooo, gitu. sini om bantu, om anterin aja sekalian, rumah kamu di mana?" mukanya sincere banget, tangannya udah megangin plastik belanjaan gw, dan kontras sama mukenye, tangannya kasar banget ngebetot tangan gw.
" eh eh..g usah om, gpp, saya bisa kok, makasih." mulai g nyaman. tapi masih santai.
" udah, g usah takut. ikut aja sama saya ya!" tangannya tiba2 udah melingker di bahu gw, badannya mepet-mepet, mesra. Najis banget kan?
" ENGGAK! apa'an siyh?!" panik berats, gw langsung lari nurunin eskalator. yang ada dalam otak gw cuman, cari tempat rame Rina!
Sampe di bawah ada lapak2 jualan yang lagi penuh numplek blek, lagi pameran soalnya. g pake mikir gw langsung nyemplung di antara orang2 di situ.
"Aduh, sayang..kamu papa cari-cari, ternyata ada di sini tho."
Gileeeeee, tuh orang sengaja bilang begitu, sambil narik gw dari kerumunan orang banyak! kalopun gw ngamuk dan tereak, bisa jadi gw dianggap anak kecil manja yang g mau pulang..iya kan? asli, niy orang udah biasa kali ya nyulik anak kecil, pedofil!

Gw langsung kaburrrrr, ke eskalator naek ke atas. Tiba-tiba gw liat 2 orang satpam lagi nongkrong di railing depan diamond, great! gw langsung nyamperin tuh satpam. pas gw nengok ke arah si pervert gila itu, dia lagi buru2 belok turun lagi ke bawah, sambil ngeliatin gw yang udah ikutan nongkrong ma satpam. hhhh..thank God!

itu tadi trauma gw yang pertama.
kalo taruma gw yang kedua, singkat padat dan jelas.
tekanan darah gw rendah, dengan kadar asam lambung yang cukup canggih.
jama gw kuliah, pulang kampus gw iseng sendirian ke mall, ke gramedia, mau cari buku bacaaan.
pas lagi seru2nya browsing buku, tiba2 pala gw pusing, mata kunang2, lemessss, dan kupign budeg mendadak..next thing i know, gw udah di pojokan toko, di atas kursi, bau minyak angin, pas melek ada mbak2 gramedia yang lagi nyolek2 usaha mbangunin gw.

so, berkat 2 hal tersebut di atas. gw rada horor kalo harus jalan2 sendirian.
apalagi, karena:
1. walaupun gw udah g muda2 amat sekarang, TAPI gw tetep kinyis2 dan caem binti
sexy.pedofil aje dulu doyan, sekarang pastinya makin banyak orang normal yang doyan :p
2. tekanan darah dan asam lambung gw masiyh aje rendah dan mustajab, mampu meyerang
kapan saja di mana saja.
3. mmmm, like i said, jalan2 itu lebih enak lagi kalo naik mobil, full ac, dan ada yang nyupirin ;p

Intinya, makin lama gw makin cemen alias takutan. tapi, kalo perginya mbawa mobil, gw masih berani jalan2 sendiri. kenapa? kenapa enggak?! hehehehe

enlightenment?

2008-05-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

menurut kamus online di www.sederet.com artinya penerangan;penjelasan
menurut kamus otak gw...pencerahan. (udah rin, gitu doang?)
yup, kadang satu kata bisa kok merepresentasikan maksud yang mau disampaikan
(lagi mau sok pinter niyh gw, keliatan kan dari pilihan bahasa gw? apa enggak ya?)
apa siyh maksud gw pake judul enlightenment? and so, the story goes..kayak tagline album artis kenamaan ibukota..

hari ini, gw decide untuk drag my sorry ass to browse the net dan, cari kerja.
niat yang luhur nan mulia kan? tapi mentok sampe buka e-mail2 doang
(tapi di e-mail kan ada postingan dari jobstreet :p)
thanks to my lovable moonshine - nama keren laki gw (romantic mode: on), yg udah beberapa hari ini nanyain terus, "kamu udah apply2 kan?" (romantisnya dimane tu pertanyaan?) jadilah gw buka e-mail, it's a start kan?

terussss..tadi gw juga udah telpon mas yahya nanyain kelanjutan dari lamaran gw sebagai anak buahnye di kantornya. ya walaupun jawabannya masih ngambang " kita masih pindahan rin, tapi tenang aja, belum ada kandidat lain kok.." at least gw udah ngingetin dia soal nasib gw (sedih amat siyh lu nong??)

gw juga udah nanyain ke si mas bambang (bambang takabet takabet is pret...sorry mas, tapi nama lu gantun banget kalo g diterusin hehehe) soal rental lighting dan sound buat midodareni dinda-nya vivi. harga udah dapet kira2, nah udah gw sampein ke vivi tapi belum ada response.
btw, ke mana ye anak itu? katanya mati lampu di apartemennya, tapi g ada kabar selanjutnya.. well kalo jam segini paling juga dia lagi ketawa-ketiwi nonton super soulmate show. gile ye, ada gitu acara kontes2an 6 jam aje gitu cuy nongol di tipi...emang ni bangsa udah keabisan materi bersenang2 kayaknya...

selanjutnya, gw buka2 facebook dan friendster (nah ini niyh..) eits, kata Vircuy (noni manado yang beredar dan happens to be best bud gw yang penting-penting gak penting) "bersenang2 itu perlu rin." terjemahan bebas gw dari kata mutiara dia adalah, buka tu facebook update tu friendster, gitu deh kira2.
tadinya mau jawab bul-bo, tapi...muales banget, jadi ya gak jadi lah.

terus gw iseng2 buka websitenya gagas media, ngapain? ngintip aje resensi2 novel2 lucu terbaru. sampe akhirnya terdampar blog walking ke segala penjuru (masih di indonesia kok...) dan mampir juga deh ngisi blog gw.

dari "perjalanan" gw hari ini, gw mendapatkan pencerahan (nah keluar kan kata-katanya) bahwa...apa ya, "ya sudahlah" (sebuah kalimat dari seorang pemikir besar yang badannya sangat kecil, nona sekar a.t) adalah kalimat yang sangat dalam dan perlu kita aplikasikan dalam kehidupan sehari2 (mulai ngaco lagi kan lu?)
lho, beneran deh..at some points in life, kita emang kudu menjalankan kalimat itu..supaya apa? biar tenang idup lu (pertanda idup gw lagi g tenang hehehe)
anyways, pokoknya saat ini gw beneran mau ngejalanin tu motto, learn to be more nrimo.
why? cos not everybody is destined to be a rocket science, everybody has their own part in life. and as for me...bismillah, gw lagi menjalankan part of my life (whatever that is :D)

udah dulu ah, mbak nanda udah pulang, gw laperrrrrr!
toodles!

My 26th year old day

2008-05-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

hari ini gw 26 tahun, dan apa yang gw rasakan? campur aduk :)
trying to be honest to myself aja susah :p

kok jadi ribet dan gak jelas gini yak rasanya?
apa yang gw bayangin terjadi, lagi g in line sama yang gw jalanin.
kangen kumpul2 sama temen-temen deket..tapi untuk maksain ngumpul juga g boleh.
karena semua orang lagi busy with their own doings nowadays.
and me? what am i doing?
yeah..what am i doing?
gw g bisa jawab pertanyaan ini..

mau nanya, soal sejuta pertanyaan di otak gw, g tau nanya ama siapa.
udah tahu kira2 nanya ama siapa..bingung jadinya mau nanya apa.
udah tahu mau nanya apa, bingung mulainya dari mana, biar nyampenya bener.
hehehehe...kok gw jadi segininya ya?

bahkan untuk decide makan apa aja..gw bingung.
mau pake baju apa hari ini? bingung...
i need something to make me feel useful.
is it work? probably.
is it someone? could be.

let's start from work..nah ini juga pangkal asal muasal kebingungan gw.
mau gw, kerja apa siyh? :(
ini..susah deh kayaknya..itu, g suka deh gw kayaknya (enegh ampe mikirnya)

anyway, somewhere, somehow, i need to start..
start doing something i can do good and great about :)

semoga Tuhan YME bisa buka pintu2 yang terbaik dan benar buat gw, amien.

oiya...happy birthday, me!

10 minutes of today

2008-04-24T21:24:00.001-07:00

When i come to think about it..things are heavily changed nowadays.
Ladies and gentlemen, please don't just say that "yes, everything changes, the only thing that stays is the changes itself".
Feel it..use your senses and really feel it. The turning of the world, how time moves forward, second after second.

For me, the ground that I am standing on right now is shaky.
I am now realizing that, there is nothing absolutely RIGHT or WRONG in my life.
I am running out of examples, to be used as a base.
Hemh...clueless and tired and no spirit to to do a thing, this is so not me :(

May Allah SWT helps me (as always) to strengthened my ground, my heart, my soul, myself..amien.

I WANT Somebody

2006-10-19T03:17:00.000-07:00

I do want somebody, to share the rest of my life. Share my innermost thoughts, and my intimate details, my deep dark secrets, ..i want to share my everything. Although i might be wrong, and judgemental, i want him to always be there, right next to me...and i know that he will always be there, and listen to all my whinning, all my absurdities, all and all..

And i want that somebody, be carefully and lovingly help me to straightened up my life...
I want him, to become my leader, my sidekick, my shoulder to cry on, my energy bar, my life...

Can't you be that somebody?
Ya Rabbi...please do show me, my somebody...amien.

a fight

2006-10-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

kinda don't get it, what is really going on and what will it be?

what do we expect from our relationship?admit it, between you and me, i don't think there is a future lies ahead of us. all i can see in our future is a BIG black hole.
we can not go on doing things like this...at least that's what i think.
you know that i can't be with a man without the grant of my family.
and the difference between us is one of the main thing which made you feel YOU.
not to mention your family...thank you for all of their love to me.
but, that is one of the reason why i also can't make any decision on us.
it hurts.

which ever the road i choose, yes DO blame me for being selfish it is all about me me me me, it will lead to another painfull decision.

and now...i really HATE it when we play this PRIDE game.
in this 2 days i've been thinking.
you CAN live without me, just look at you now...
you haven't call, you haven't text me, you have not contact me in any ways...
and it seems like you really enjoy this.
cos i know...in your mind, you believe that I REALLY LOVE YOU, and i will be the first who failed in this game, i will be the one who come running to you.
GUESS AGAIN....I WON'T

i'm sick and tired of holding back...
what's the point of me loving you?what's the point of staying together?
WHAT IS THE POINT?????

now i realize, i can not live without an image.
an image of a man i Love...that's all.
i need someone whom i can put deep in my thoughts, when i listen to love songs.
i need a man, just to be my selfish image of "I AM IN LOVE WTH ..."

gosh..i hate myself.

bottom line...this time, you call me.
cos i WON'T call you first.

On the Breath of an Angel

2006-08-14T00:27:00.000-07:00

Wherever I go ...Whatever I see ...Over oceans unknown
You are always with me
I long for the one...who will be on my side always...
Pure as the water ...We float on this wave ...On the breath of an angel
I'll fly away
And whenever he says the words...i would be rejuvenate...
At the ends of your fingers ...I follow tonight ...Caught in the lightning ...Of a thousand horizons
I will not care for any errands and obstacles on our ways...
We dance for no reason ...You hold on so tight ...Lost in the feeling
Of a wonderful ride
Because....i love you...
Di semua bahasa, Semua warna ...Kupahami kata, Yang kau ukir indah
Nyanyi beku angin, Cairkan sengat surya
I really do...
Di relung hatiku, Bernyanyi bidadari
Ribuan dewa-dewi bernyanyi...bila ku jatuh cinta...seperti saat ini...
I can hear every word ...I see everywhere ...Take me into your world
You can answer my prayers
It is you...YOU are my ONE
Rivers of hours ...Where time is so rare ...Hold me forever ...Say you'll always be there
Forever...
Wherever I go i'll go with you
Whatever I see i'll see through you

Over oceans unknown ...You are always with me
Pure as the water ...We float on this wave
On the breath of an angel ...I'll fly away ...
I Love You....

Hectic Wednesday

2006-08-09T02:08:00.000-07:00

OMIGOD!!
What did I do to receive such a KARMA?

Today is such a HECTIC hectic day...everything seems to be falling apart...and every ruin of the fall down seemed to be hunting me...
Help...helpppppp....HEEEELLLLPPPPP....don't push me anymore...

But thankfully, the problems are only haunting me in my 9-6 life, hehehe, well working always sucks, RIGHT? Unless for all of you BIG entrepreneurs who claim to LOVE your work..and a WORKAHOLIC...go on enjoy the rest of your life to work work work...

Tonite..has to be a great nite!!!!!amien...

New

2006-04-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

I'm Backkk!!!!

Not really...just trying to kill my time in this great big hectic world called "working"...

s.o.s

2005-09-30T04:24:00.000-07:00

if there's any justice in the world...i would be...myself.
i miss my friends..i miss my family..i miss the old me.
i hate missing my happiness..but that is what i feel today..
nowadays...
can't they see, i am so freaking f*$#in bored with my days...
i need something new..to triger my brain cells.
i they are so bored to see me in this condition..imagine
WHAT I FEEL...

i hate it...i hate it when i'm like this..
clueless.

the coming

2005-09-30T03:13:00.000-07:00

the coming of the night has always fascinates me
not that the coming of daylight doesn't...
but the soothing yet mysterious crawl of complete darkness
which made me feel sacrificely surender to be swalowed
by it...just gives me goosebumps, everytime.
it feels as if the night offers me beautiful blessings
for my soul....which floats elusively in misty air.
waiting to be reached,though it is unreachable.

2005-04-20T05:47:00.000-07:00

my kenky and me...

2005-04-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

my bad habbit,still loving it!!!!

2005-04-20T01:46:00.000-07:00

on the 'couch'

2005-03-23T02:39:00.000-08:00

me and my kenky

2005-03-23T02:34:00.000-08:00

this is me

today

2005-03-23T00:52:00.000-08:00

!!!!!!!happy anniversary for banana and kenky!!!!!
Today is my 14th months anniversary with my Kenky...
senangnyah...